Finding New Cuss Words (on the farm)


When our cute little munchkin (adorably, I might add) dropped something and said, “Oh, sh#t,” all our eyes got big and we started pointing fingers.  Which other grandma has she seen?  It was probably her aunt, her mom, the neighbor…..but of course then we caught ourselves saying it as well.  Hey, we live in the country and I know that’s not an excuse, but there is a fair amount of cussing out here.  If you had to deal with grasshoppers, freak winter storms, voles, and dropped items, you would understand!

We decided to clean up our act.  In the process, Doug and I have come up with some clever farm related cuss words to add to our repertoire.

1. There is the obvious to replace Maryjane’s new word- Shitakes.

She is so full of shitakes, there is no way her chicken does tricks…

2. Holy Crispy Kale!

Holy crispy kale, batman, the potatoes are coming up!

3. Kumquat

He is such a kumquat.  He wants everything for cheap!

4. Sweet Potatoes!

Sweet Potatoes!  Ethel laid an egg!

Now, when my kids were little I told them that they could only cuss in an emergency. Broken toe, that kind of thing.  So here is our replacement for that kind of hollering.  Kindly use it sparingly.

Oh Shuck the Flipping Fingerlings, I broke my toe!!

I am certain I have forgotten some great farm cuss words.  Add yours to the comments below!  Keep it clean, folks, there are one year olds listening!





7 Comments Add yours

  1. Mark Pearce says:

    Well, sheep dip … that’s the biggest corn shucking, cow tipping, pile of chicken gizzards I’ve ever heard. If you can’t say any deep battered, yeast rising, bucket of gluten free tapioca thing you want on your own farm, then what’s the point? It’s not like the olden days, when a few bad words, and your parents would bake your bread till it was a golden brown. That really chaps my lips.

    1. Farmgirl says:

      Mark, I should have come to you first! Come over, we’ll walk around “cussing” up a storm!

      1. Mark Pearce says:

        Sounds like a fun time!

  2. Fudge. Yelled loudly.

  3. Candy says:

    Mother of Pearl is a common one around here. I accidentally said it during a recent EMG at the doctor’s office. She smiled. She knew exactly what I was referring to and agreed that it did hurt like a mother of pearl.

    1. Farmgirl says:

      I also like, from the movie Elf, Son of a Nutcracker!

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