It turns out that I am terribly rude. I didn’t realize it until I moved south. But, my goodness, I did not know how bad of manners I had learnt, and I will be trying very hard to unlearn!

Manners are as important and prevalent as casseroles and college football down here.

When one is asked a question, it no longer feels correct to answer yes or no. It feels curt and standoffish. Yes ma’am. No sir. These are built into the conversations here and feel as normal as breathing.

I live in a college town and I am pleasantly surprised by the manners of young people here. I complimented a darling young woman as she walked past us. She quickly took out here ear buds and asked, “Ma’am?” and I was instantly charmed. When one does not hear something or misses the beginning of a sentence, southerners do not answer with, “What?” as we have been raised doing. Even “excuse me?” seems out of place down here. “Ma’am?” or “Sir?” is the quick response.

When speaking to a professional on the phone, the answer from the other side, even if one is complaining (another rude habit I seem to have), is, “yes ma’am.” Well, it all just makes me want to be a better person.

By the shocked expressions I have received over nearly four months of living here, I am learning my place. One never speaks ill, even jokingly, of another. One does not complain about their situation or their life. Not ever. I am learning quickly that it does not change one’s situation anyway.

Southerners smile, nod, ask about you, truly care about you, and want to help. They do not show up empty handed. They call and check on folks if needed. They don’t always meet at a restaurant, for the south is filled with real good cooks, and one should feel pretty excited if one gets invited over! Yes ma’am. What can I bring?